its sort of like... damn.

im depressed. i want to talk about it. but, i dont want to be a downer. thank the internet for blogs... right??

i just cant get over the fact that hes gone. theres no phone calls and texts coming from him no matter how many times i look for his name in my phone. its like, why dont you want to hang out anymore?! and, then i think, "dobbie is dead and he's not coming back." then, my heart breaks all over again. i havent really had time to mourn about this whole situation. i still wake up every morning thinking this is a dream. i really thought his funeral would bring me closer. i was even one of the honored by his mother to carry his casket. its not that i dont think of any of my other friends less than him, its just as the years went by i discovered how much alike we are. he might have never thought this, but he sort of became a brother figure. a guy i could tell anything to. if something got too much for him for me to share, he wouldnt tell me to keep quite all the time. all though, he was gone for two years in california i still texted him up every once and awhile with eventually going out there with one our best friends jamie. we had a blast... but there was a falling out. he came back home a year later and things eventually became almost normal again. if not better then before. when his mother came and saw me at work with the huge ass grin that dobbie shared with her, i had to call that nigga up to let him know, "dude, your mom called me geisha... no one has called me that in forever." long story, short. from day one of meeting him i knew we were going to be really good friends. i dont know if any one is going to read this or not. but, i just couldnt stand not talking about it any more. and, i promise you dobbie. ill take care of jamie. i miss you and i wont ever forget you.